Helping Young Actors Navigate Anxiety and Uncertainty

“What if I never get another audition?”
“I never book anything!”
“The industry is dead.”
“AI will take all my opportunities.”
“I guess I’ll be a starving artist forever!”

Anxiety and despair are on the rise, especially in young people, and child actors are no exception. One reason these emotions feel so overwhelming is because most people never learn what to do with them. Instead, the thoughts get pushed down, shaken up, and ignored until they eventually explode. Think: a Coke bottle that's been shaken, taken on an airplane, and opened mid-flight.

Recently, I was at an event and sat between a songwriter and a booking agent discussing “negative vs. positive" thinking. The agent believed the answer to cyclical negative thoughts was to push the thoughts away and replace them with positive affirmations. The songwriter processed emotions through music, naturally, but admitted recurring spirals were difficult to manage.

Then the agent turned to me, "Surely you have something to say about this! What do you do when your mind goes to a negative place".

“I tell myself the truth,” I said. “No fluff. Just facts.”

When we (and our young actors) get in an unresourceful headspace, we often start believing thoughts that we can't actually prove:
“I’ll never book a role.”
“I guess I'm just not a good actor.”
“Nobody likes me.”
“I’m ugly.”

Are any of those statements actually true? Nearly every time, the answer is no.

But the opposite extreme can also backfire. Repeating affirmations we don’t truly believe:
“I’m the greatest actor alive.”
“Everybody loves me.”
“I’m guaranteed to be a series regular on 5 shows.”

Again, are those objectively true? 10/10 times the answer again, is no.

So why try to replace one false statement with another?

Instead of obsessing over “positive vs. negative,” I encourage clients to aim for neutral and truthful. Just state facts. 

“I didn’t book that role, but I sent in the best self-tape I could.”
“Sometimes casting choices will be a mystery - one that is not mine to solve.
“I’m continuing to develop my skills.”
“I am loved by the people who matter most to me.”

Those statements are grounded in reality. They create stability instead of emotional whiplash. And when young actors learn to anchor themselves in truth instead of fear or fantasy, they’re better equipped to stay resourceful, steady, and emotionally well in an unpredictable industry.

So next time your child starts heading down an anxiety spiral, resist the urge to immediately “pump them up” or dismiss their feelings. Instead, help redirect them toward what is objectively true.

If they dramatically declare, “I’ll never be a series regular!” or “I’m the worst actor ever,” you can playfully ask:

“Whoa! When did you learn to predict the future?”
Or: “Who named you ‘the worst actor ever’? I could've sworn, your birth certificate said ‘Sadie.’” 😉

Sometimes a little humor, and a lot of truth will interrupt the thought process faster than forced positivity ever could.

Cheers to you for taking the steps to not only help build your young performer's career, but the educational foundation, confidence and resilience to thrive wherever life takes them. 

Sincerely,

Stephanie Hajjar

Mental Wellness Coach