Behind the Curtain: Mental Health for Actors
Over the years, mental wellness coach, Stephanie Hajjar, has coached many young performers & has found a handful of differentiating factors that lead some to experience a great quality of life with sustained mental well-being, while others found it incredibly difficult to maintain any state of mental wellness. Today, she to shares one of the keys to building a strong emotional foundation as a performer.
We’ve all seen it: our kids get an audition but no callback. The “rejection” stings. When it happens often, it can degrade their confidence. For many talented kids, their self-worth and identity are tied to their performance and success. It's only natural that the things we spend the most time, energy, and effort on become a part of who we are. The unnatural part is when it becomes all that we are.
Take Denise, a former college basketball player. She grew up with a ball in her hands, played varsity as a freshman. Then, an ACL tear sidelined her for a year. It was the first time she had experienced such a deep depression. She told me, “I had never gone more than a week without basketball. I had no clue who I was if I wasn’t playing.” Her recovery was a long road, but it allowed her to discover who she was. Exploring her identity beyond the court made her stronger, happier, and more resilient.
The same is true for actors. I often hear: “If I land this role, then I’ll know I’m good. If I don’t get the callback, I must not be talented. When I'm not working, I don't know what to do with myself! ...”
When joy and confidence are outsourced to external sources, it can be a recipe for instability. It's important that our kids know who they are aside from what they do. A strong foundation is built on the things that don’t change, they're stable and solid.
An example would be the answer to the question, "who are you?" - a sibling, a friend, a creative person, someone who loves to make people laugh or help others, etc. None of the aforementioned are predicated on the status of a career or job title. As parents, you can help nurture this balance by praising and celebrating their character, values, and effort more than the results and accolades. It makes way for a healthier relationship with their craft. As a result, acting becomes something they love to do, not the thing that defines their worth. So, encourage your kids in who they are, not just what they do. After all, we’re “human beings,” not “human doings.”
A gentle challenge: Ask your child (and yourself): Who am I outside of my work? What else brings me peace, joy, and confidence? What matters most to me? What would I do if I wasn't acting? When they can get clear on those answers, they're more likely to feel grounded, fulfilled, and joyful, no matter what they do or how successful they are at it.
Sincerely,
Mental Wellness Coach
STEPHANIE HAJJAR
